MASSIVE sketchdump! summer 2010 doodles
this is the 5th (I think?) of these books I’ve filled up in the last year. They’re about 3 by 4 inches: the perfect portable size.
Now I only have a week left in San Francisco; interning for the Nitric Burn crew has been an interesting experience, and I think it’s given me some insight into what I want to try and do with myself once the next two years are over and done with. While I appreciate collaboration (and have myself collaborated on a good half of last year’s major projects), I think it’s more important than ever that I focus on my own vision and my own works. It seems silly to speak of ‘vision’ in the same post as a bunch of pokemon and decemberists doodles, but hear me out: it seems far too easy to come out of school and coast, leaving your own works behind and leaning on whatever seems nearest and easiest. I’m petrified of coming out of the security of school and finding myself in a brave new world, and finding myself LAZY. It’s something I feel I fall prey to every single summer, and something I must fight if I’m going to “make it” in the professional art world. And what does it mean to “make it”? None of us will amount to a Warhol-esque figure, and as the lovely Anya and myself were discussing on a walk earlier, how many art alumni do we know that are actually practicing their craft and making a name for themselves? How many others are spinning wheels? It’s frustrating to attempt to find yourself artistically and create some sort of emotional and financial stability for yourself at the same time: something will always be sacrificed. Artwork? School? Jobs? Rent? Family? Friends? Boyfriend? How do they relate? How do they rely on each other, and how do they hurt one another? In the past two years, my work has primarily focused on animal vs. human relations, pop culture, and general geekiness. These subjects have helped me develop my abilities, and allowed me to research and begin to understand what I find the most mysterious: myself. I think I’m going to go a little farther this year, and really start to put an autobiographical spin on this stuff: I’m not the most interesting (or interesting at all, really) but I’m what I KNOW, to a degree. I am too young and too green to really understand much else on more than a superficial level, but ME? I am (at least) beginning to understand ME.
Hmm.
Go-go unedited train of thought!
On another note, working here has also really made me think about making my senior project into a long term, open ended video game. I’m thinking a visual novel/turn based/fighter with as much option and freedom as I can achieve… plot (and alternating plot strands for freedom’s sake) are pending.Much of Rapstar Heroes was already completed when I arrived in San Francisco, leaving me to pick up the loose ends in terms of assets and character animations. Only recently has the level editor the studio’s code monkeys put together been stable enough to allow the art team to take a crack at it, and it’s still so buggy that I’ve been designing my levels on paper first just to reduce headache. So far I’m designing three levels; a hill zone, a desert zone and a jungle zone. (woah, Sonic flashback). I might design a Pittsburgh level, but there is only a week left after all. We’ll see what gets done.
In terms of the unnamed claymation sidescroller, I think I’m just going to continue animating my rat character back in Pittsburgh and send the files back to get put into the game. With how long Rapstar Heroes is taking to develop, who knows when the clay game is going to get up and running: I figure I have some time.
It’s that time of the year when stress begins to slowly build up, and so my music gets more and more calm and cathartic. This week I am listening to: The Mountain Goats (I AM GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR IF IT KILLS ME.), Sufjan Stevens, Bob Dylan, The Shins, and Amanda Palmer‘s new EP, Amanda Palmer performs the popular hits of Radiohead on her magical ukelele. She does a cover of Creep live (hungover at soundcheck in berlin) and the track opens with “This is the saddest room I’ve ever played to. No one came to my show.” and my heart melts.
My boyfriend took me out for a night of sashimi, latin jazz, and milkshakes on Wednesday night. He then presented me with four pokedolls from his trip to NYC, which included a trip to the hacker con The Last HOPE and a quick trip to Nintendo World NYC. Although he looks ridiculous, my favorite just might be Origin Form Giratina because “He looked disappointed. There was the most of him, and he was on the top, and there was a giant picture of what he was supposed to look like above the bin… and it was sad.” Tomorrow he flies to India for a 2 week business trip, so I won’t be seeing him until school starts up again- but it was a great date to end a wonderful summer. San Francisco, you’ve been good to me. <3
